A Date - At the Park
I hope the day is treating you gently.
I frequently write about experiences from the past – I write about real situations that really happened – but it’s very rare for me to mention anything that is happening now – in the present.
I don’t often use this space as a diary. And, by me sharing (almost exclusively) events from my past, people get a very good look into the person I was – glimpses into my life as a younger man - reflections and echoes from the past – from times of struggling, addiction, and great sadness. I’m doing much better now – and I probably don’t mention this fact enough. With a few minor bumps now and then, life is treating me kindly.
I thought it would be fun to let you know what is happening now (today) – as kind of a shared diary entry, I suppose. It’s a good thing.
In an hour I’ll be going on a date – for the first time in 2 ½ years. Based on phone conversations and messages over the past couple of weeks, I suspect it will go well. He loves dogs – so there’s that – and he is kind.
Last year, after my best friend died, (other than going to work) I didn’t leave the house for months. I was sad all the time and I (temporarily) lost my ability to feel positive emotions – grief had unpacked its bags and I made a bed for it and cooked it meals every day. I ran on autopilot with no expectations the dark clouds would ever clear – the sun remained hidden for a very long time. And, only recently, have I seen it blazing in the sky – and I suspect it’s been there all along – I was just looking in the wrong direction.
So, I’m getting out of the house today. My date and I (this is our first time meeting in person) are meeting up at a local park to watch the dogs in the dog park – then, I’m sure, we’ll walk around and continue to get to know each other. I’m buying corn feed on the way to the park, in case he wants to feed the ducks by the park lake (I hope he does). The date may go well – or it may not (though I suspect it will be fine). But, either way, I’m getting out of the house today – meeting someone new. This is miles away from a gold-star day consisting of nothing more than being able to get out of bed to face a new day.
Sometimes it (life) gets better. I’m beginning to (slowly) understand “Happiness” with a capital H – the letter isn’t in bold type yet – but I kind of understand what that might look like.
Sometimes it gets better. It really does.
Photo: Jimmy Broccoli.