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  • Jimmy Broccoli

An Above-Average Sized Penis and Crepes (cherry flavored)

“Do you like crepes?”, I ask because I don’t know what else to say

“I don’t know what that is”, she replies and then she wipes her paper napkin against her lips, though she hasn’t eaten anything yet

“I like cherry”, I continue – “they are thin pancakes with fruit and cheese and other shit in them – they are quite tasty”

Her shirt is a bit tighter than she usually wears -

and I cannot stop thinking about her nipples

“I’d motherfucking fuck a crepe if I could” I say – “I recommend cherry – I’d totally stick my dick in it”

She puts down her menu as she smiles at me, with her decision made (the cherry crepes) –

Nothing compares to an old-fashioned diner…

“They have a jukebox”, she exclaims with celebration –

“They do!”, I reply

“I’m going to play some god damn bastard tunes”, she says

“you play them god damn bastard tunes”, I say with excitement –

Her ass jiggles magnificently as she walks towards the jukebox

“Bitch, you gots you some nice titties”, I bashfully tell her when she returns to the table

“you’re a handsome lad”, she tells me – “not sure about that between your legs – you be gentle, ya hear – I’ve heard about you?”

“I am a gentleman”, I reply. “Yeah, I am gentle. I’m better hung than the guys you’ve dated before. I go slow”.

She nods her head knowing this is an obvious fact

“Rock Around the Clock” sings through the diner’s speakers and she nearly pisses herself with delight

“I son-of-a-bitch love this fucking song!” she exclaims with much enthusiasm

“Me, too – it’s a fucking classic – fuck”, I say and we both smile

“I bet you’ve got a beautiful pussy”, I tell her hesitantly and with shyness

“I bet you say that to all the ladies”, she replies with a jeering smile –

“I bet your pussy is more beautiful than all other pussies”, I say while looking at her titties


“these crepes are motherfucking fantastic” she exclaims –

“Yeah, right?” I reply

“This is an amazing date”, I say –

“I’m really having a good time”

“Me too”, she says as she licks her lips like she is an experienced hooker

My cheeks turn red because I’m an introvert

“Do you enjoy oral sex?”, she asks as she wipes the cherry off of her lips with her paper napkin

“Yes, I do – very much – I appreciate you asking”, I respond, “that is very kind and thoughtful of you to ask”

“And, the crepes are the best – ain’t they – fucking heaven wrapped in a thin motherfucking pancake, no?”

“They are heaven on a pussy stick”, she replies – and we smile together


“yeah, that is kind of a lot – it’s sloppy and ridiculous”, she says while describing my penis with a judgmental smirk

“yeah, I know” I reply

“I haven’t been able to make it smaller”, I say – and then I look at the wall, embarrassed

“it’ll do”, she says - and the ceremonies commence


“Maybe we could go to the park tomorrow”, I suggest while we’re snuggling close

“I fucking shit like ducks”, she says while puffing on her hemp cig

“I fucking shit like ducks, too”, I replay with a grin – “we should totally go to the park tomorrow”

“Totally” she replies

The motherfucking ducks are gliding across the water as she and I hold hands and walk along the park-lake

“Christ on a bike, it’s beautiful here” she exclaims –

I lean in close to her and highly suspect she is now a permanent part of my life –

“I enjoy using the word ‘cunt’ in a sentence”, she tells me

and I tell her I agree – it’s absolutely lovely and it’s very poetic…

“perhaps you could try to make it smaller – maybe just a little”, she recommends

“I’ve tried, love”, I replay

“It’s okay” she says, and I am immediately reassured


We walk along the shopping plaza hand in hand –

her vagina walking along with her and me – it’s between her legs

“are you staring at my tits?” she asks playfully

“Yeah”, I reply as the sweatpants I’m wearing visually display my intimate thoughts

“that’s so sloppy and ridiculous” she says

“Sorry, love – I’ve tried to make it smaller – it don’t work that way”

“Okay – come over later, yeah?”

“Yeah, okay”, I say


The evening moon licks the sky like it’s a pussy

Nature – the beautiful cunt that it is – is nodding off properly for the night

I’m within her and she asks if I can make it just a bit smaller

“Sorry, love, I’m not sure what to do about that”

And she kisses me with tongue and with much affection

“Motherfuck”, she says and she says it loudly

“I love you, too”, I say

“Yeah, that is what I was trying to say”, she replies

“Yeah, motherfuck”, I say

“Yeah”, she says

Photo: Jimmy Broccoli.

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