I am a speech impediment
I communicate clearly with the darkness
Enunciating perfectly
Articulating words and concepts
My lisp fizzles and I speak in Technicolor
Happiness whispers in my direction and I hesitate
Sounds like social media abbreviations I am forced to look up
While smh, I smile and think, “idk, wtf”
My anxiety is in high gear, so I take another pill
Birthday cards make me cry
I put them in the bottom drawer
I’ve re-read your parting note and admire the sentence-structure
I remember the day you died, but not your wedding
My typewriter hesitates as I think of words and concepts
That read like people scream
On the keyboard I type “JOY” (in all capital letters)
And look at the empty page that fails to understand it
A multi-colored party invitation arrives
And a paper bag as I hyperventilate insecurities
A funeral announcement and I RSVP within the hour
I own more black suits than beach-ready swim trunks
I’m Ikea furniture without assembly directions
My mouth is dry and I cannot swallow
I’m the voiceless spider being washed down the plughole
But I cannot find the words
I want to be glitter
I want to be laughter
I want to be the last thought on your mind before you sleep
I want to be what I don’t understand
