• jeffstinson1972

My Views On Love, Romance, & Commitment

Hi All


About 7 years ago, both of us sitting next to each other on a cracked curb in the decaying parking lot outside of our slowly deteriorating apartment we called home, my partner asked me to marry him. He didn't actually ask - but he asked what I thought about him asking.


It was the first time in more than a short moment I had cause to smile.


Within the coming weeks I discovered something interesting about myself. My thoughts and ideas about relationships, romance, marriage, and eternal bonding weren't the same as everyone else's. To you, this likely is not surprising.


For our hypothetical reception, I chose the song I present here. A very romantic and intense song about the eternal bonds of love and never-wavering commitment. I didn't know (and still don't know) of a song that better states how I feel about love and commitment. It's "We're In This Together" and it expresses just about everything I find important and sacred in a committed relationship. And it expresses these feelings in a manner I find appropriate (perhaps with less screaming), because love is a powerful emotion that shouldn't be wasted on artificial imagery or within the emotional limitations of a Hallmark card.


I soon learned the sentiments expressed by Hallmark cards, and the like, are not universally abhorred - although I've always considered these and similar expressions as vapid and illusionary ridiculousness that bear no resemblance to the real world or to real relationships.

My partner recommended we both, separately, come up with a list of music we wanted to be played at the reception. Strangely, it took us comparing song lists for a hypothetical reception for us to realize we had very different ideas about love and commitment. His ideas were well rooted in what I consider fantasy (Abba's "Dancing Queen" and everything by Michael Bublé), while I viewed these topics with a realistic and non-illusionary outlook.


Although it would be easy for me to state this was the moment we realized our relationship would not be eternal (cue the theme music) - very few things in life are that easy. Although I would never in a million years have "Dancing Queen" played at my wedding or reception, my decision to leave him was based on other reasons. The rose-colored glasses I was wearing eventually broke and I began to see things as they really were. Sometimes well-planned and elaborate sandcastles wash out to sea and cannot be properly rebuilt.


So, here I am, years later and single (and mostly happy about that), and I still think "We're In This Together" is the ultimate song about love and commitment. It's dramatic, it's intense, Trent is screaming through much of it - what's not to like?


Although it is perhaps reliant on a Hallmark view of life and reality (though I don't believe this to be true) - I expect I'll eventually find the "right one" and, I have little doubt, he'll at least appreciate my thoughts on love and commitment. And, if he pays attention - even if my views are outwardly different from his - he'll understand my dedication to hanging on to the beautiful aspects and expressions in my life - and that will include him, of course.


I had never expected to comment on the topic of love on my page - but, it's an emotion - an emotion I understand, even if I understand it in a slightly differently way than some others. Love is important, intense, eternal (if done correctly), and 100% committed. It's difficult, and occasionally, it requires the ability to agree to disagree, with no love lost. It's allowing love to actively breathe within the relationship and grow, as a couple, around these changes and improvements.


Yeah, and I'm prone to use foul language on occasion. The right guy will understand my rating is probably realistically centered around an NC-17.


Here is "We're In This Together", a song that WILL be played at my wedding reception. And I hope you enjoy it!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9BfvPjsXXw


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