The Actor

“John, John, John –

oh, your name is neil… okay then…

I'm Jimmy - since we're giving our real names.

And, no, I don’t take American Express –

And, yes, I am 18 (no need to worry) –

yeah, I know I look younger.”

(and you like us that way, don't you?)

“Yes, I think your jokes are funny - it is the reason I laugh at them (ya know?)

So – yeah – we maybe could be together in a different world –

one where I’m not 16 (did I say 16 - oops… I meant 18) –

because I naturally enjoy the company of men many years my senior…”

“John, John, John – oh, that’s right (I’m sorry) –

that’s right – yes, John - your name is neal

I’m Jimmy with a hollow and empty heart – what (?)– what’s that (?) –

no I didn’t say anything –

yes, I enjoy designer wear – you bought that for me (!?)”

Oh, you shouldn’t have – but, I’m glad you did –

“come here, you…” (I plant a masculine kiss upon his wrinkled and sagging cheek)

[I noticeably blush and outwardly smile (because that is what I do)]

“Yes, I can be 16 (er, 18 – I did it again – that’s right, I’m 18)

and fall in love with an older man –

yes, neil – is that with an ‘ei” or an “ea”? –

yes, I can jump in the shower to be a wet little Scottish boy –

yeah, I can do that –

yes, I understand - you like to look at me in my wet underwear –

yeah, I can do that

yes, John – yeah, neal…I can do that”

[I hate you – I hate you with every thought – with every breath - and you don’t even know it –

how can you not know it?]

“come here, you…

come here you nasty little pig…

come here little piggy…”

“Tell me I’m nasty – tell me I’m dirty (!)” (neil/neal speaks)

“SHUT UP – did I tell you you could speak, little pig (?) –

you’ll keep your little pig mouth shut…”

and, yes, you are nasty –

and, yes, you are dirty –

“you’re a dirty little piggy in the mud…”

“Oink dirty little pig (!) – I said Oink, little piggy! –

I said OINK (!!!!)”

____

“John, John, John” [how do you not know I hate you?] –

“Oh – that’s right (I’m sorry) – neil –

John, your name is neal…

a strong and bold and manly name…

is that with an ‘ei” or an ‘ea”?”

____

My fingers curl up to form a fist –

as John – er, as neal - smiles and relaxes…

"bend over the bed dirty little piggy", I say

And dirty little piggy does as he is told…

I curl up my fingers to make a fist

And it begins…

Photo: Jimmy Broccoli.