The Ducks

I want to go see the ducks –

the ducks at the park that swim in the park lake

You tell me you aren’t up to it, and I don’t understand

Who doesn’t like ducks?

“Come on”, I say, “It’s ducks – and you’ll love it! Don’t you think it’s time to get out of the house? You’ve been in bed for weeks”

Now – I’ll be honest – I don’t know the difference between a duck and a goose –

and, I’ll be honest, the answer doesn’t really matter to me

They have cute – and, sometimes colorful heads and they waddle –

and they eat the popcorn I bring to the park lake –

and I love to sit for hours and spend time with them

- and sometimes I bring bread and break it up for them

They like that too

and this makes me smile (I enjoy seeing happy ducks) –

sometimes I bring my MP3 player and listen to my favorite songs –

while I sit with the ducks (or the geese – or, whatever)

“I’m not up for seeing the ducks today – I just can’t”, you tell me

And I tell you I don’t understand

“I like ducks – and I like to see the ducks with you –

because I enjoy being with you,

I think you’re amazing” – I tell her

“Don’t you think it’s time to get out of the house? You’ve been in bed for weeks”

We go to the park, and I feed the ducks at the park lake –

She looks sad the entire time – the ducks are enjoying themselves – or so it seems –

but the humans aren’t. I take her hand in mine and it is limp -

I’m seriously questioning her commitment to enjoy spending time with the ducks… - and with me

____

And – 5 hours later – we no longer speak – we no longer speak forever

because she is no longer breathing –

and it takes breathing to breathe and to say words –

sometimes people have had enough, and they tie a rope around their neck, and they never do anything else after that – and you don’t expect it –

even when they tell you they are going to do it – and you don’t believe them

- she told me she didn’t want to see the ducks today – because she just couldn’t –

…and she said that

And I wasn’t listening -

because I wanted to help her

Photo: Jimmy Broccoli