I want to go see the ducks –
the ducks at the park that swim in the park lake
You tell me you aren’t up to it, and I don’t understand
Who doesn’t like ducks?
“Come on”, I say, “It’s ducks – and you’ll love it! Don’t you think it’s time to get out of the house? You’ve been in bed for weeks”
Now – I’ll be honest – I don’t know the difference between a duck and a goose –
and, I’ll be honest, the answer doesn’t really matter to me
They have cute – and, sometimes colorful heads and they waddle –
and they eat the popcorn I bring to the park lake –
and I love to sit for hours and spend time with them
- and sometimes I bring bread and break it up for them
They like that too
and this makes me smile (I enjoy seeing happy ducks) –
sometimes I bring my MP3 player and listen to my favorite songs –
while I sit with the ducks (or the geese – or, whatever)
“I’m not up for seeing the ducks today – I just can’t”, you tell me
And I tell you I don’t understand
“I like ducks – and I like to see the ducks with you –
because I enjoy being with you,
I think you’re amazing” – I tell her
“Don’t you think it’s time to get out of the house? You’ve been in bed for weeks”
We go to the park, and I feed the ducks at the park lake –
She looks sad the entire time – the ducks are enjoying themselves – or so it seems –
but the humans aren’t. I take her hand in mine and it is limp -
I’m seriously questioning her commitment to enjoy spending time with the ducks… - and with me
____
And – 5 hours later – we no longer speak – we no longer speak forever
because she is no longer breathing –
and it takes breathing to breathe and to say words –
sometimes people have had enough, and they tie a rope around their neck, and they never do anything else after that – and you don’t expect it –
even when they tell you they are going to do it – and you don’t believe them
- she told me she didn’t want to see the ducks today – because she just couldn’t –
…and she said that
And I wasn’t listening -
because I wanted to help her
Photo: Jimmy Broccoli
