As You Were, As I Want You To Be

Lux sat in the car (inhaling deeply) in the garage with the car running – the garage was shut and sealed –

Therese took prescription sleeping pills – and, she took a lot of them –

she sleeps for an eternity…

A kitchen oven blazing – with temperatures high – and Mary stuck her head in it –

Bonnie swung from rope in the doorway – she swung to-and-fro for a few moments,

like there was a gentle breeze –

Cecelia impaled herself – she jumped from her bedroom window

- landing on (becoming a part of) the wrought-iron fence

in the front yard below…

Virginia walked into the river with rocks in her pockets…

Naomi with a gun in her hand – and Kurt with a gun in his hand -

but, just for a moment – just for a moment - (that’s all it takes) –

My friend Michael left this world with a plastic bag over his head –

tied tightly with medium-heavy rope around his neck

(sealed, signed, and delivered) –

no air, no air, no air –

carbon monoxide, after a mild aerosol sedative –

no pain, no pain, no pain …

____

Tim choked violently on his own vomit [overdose] –

after hearing about Keith taking his last breath –

the Firestarter -a Firestarter no more…

[breathe – come play the game, I’ll test ya!

Exhale, exhale, exhale…]

Chester…oh Chester… I may never understand – but, that’s okay

Yeah, sometimes it doesn’t even matter…

____

Robin made me laugh… for years –

a rope and a bathtub and my memories will never be the same…

mental illness is alive and well in 2023 and in 2014

(and in every year – before and after)

Oh Silvia – how I continue to love thee…

____

Courtney and I (and others) breathe as others no longer breathe…

the professional widow and I stand on a picturesque beach together –

with photo albums opened and exposed –

the humid air destroying them [slowly] as the memories [slowly] deteriorate into moments that will eventually fade -

… and he swore he didn’t have a gun…

Photo: Jimmy Broccoli.