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  • Jimmy Broccoli

Sometimes Grief Won't Leave Me Alone

Dedicated to Christopher Van Pelt, 1974 - 2021

I am going to the movies alone tonight to see the movie “Bros” at the iPic Cinema on Peachtree Street at 7:00 pm. I would have gone with my best friend – we always went to the movies together – but he is dead.

So, I’m going alone – I have my reservation (and ticket) and I’m front row center, single seat.

The movie looks amazing – it looks funny, and forward-thinking, and important and fun. If these descriptions prove accurate (I’ll know once I’ve seen the film), I’m certain Chris would have loved it – he loved humor – much more than I ever did.

The iPic Theatre has reclining seats that are heated. I don’t care about reclining and heated seating (at all) – but Chris would have loved the ridiculous luxury - and we would have laughed about it.

I’m certain we would have had a blast tonight – we always did when we visited the cinemas. But – sometimes life is taken away from you (or me – or us) – and the future memories don’t happen.

I’m going to be okay – even though the theatre is (purposely) arranged for double-seating with a table between each two seats. I will be seated next to a single tonight. Due to the nature of the film, it will probably be a guy or a bro or a lad or a mate. I will introduce myself, embarrass myself (without doubt) – and we’ll all watch the film together. Then, I’ll return home – thinking of my friend.

I miss him so fucking much (I apologize for my profanity – if it offends you) – but, I just do. I miss him so much; I have no further words to say. I just don’t.

…and I don’t want to be me tonight

Photo: Jimmy Broccoli

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